Paranoid moms

You know those paranoid moms that obsessed over every little thing? They read every book and listen to every word suggested. They freak out if someone doesn't wash their hands before holding their baby. If the pacifier falls on the floor, they put it in the dishwasher before their baby touches it again. They worry about taking their baby out when they're still young.

A lot of people have told me they thought I would be a paranoid mom.

I am NOT.

And that's actually a little shocking!

I'm more obsessed with the clothes I put on my baby than worried about germs.

Maybe that's a good thing though. With my anxiety and depression issues in the past, it's pretty shocking that I'm so relaxed about this stuff. If the paci falls on the floor, I wipe it off and give it back to him. If I hand him to someone else to hold, the thought of washing hands does not even cross my mind. I haven't touched any of the baby care books since before giving birth and I don't feel like I need them right now.

Wow, even writing this is shocking me because it's so not like myself to be that way. Maybe Connor has really changed me and the way I view things in life now. Whatever did it, it's pretty nice not to be stressed and worrying all the time!

One month old!

I can't believe it's been a month already!

I decided to do monthly photos on a calendar so we could see how much you've grown each month. I only got a few shots before you spit up all over the paper!

Once the spit was cleaned, I decided to also do photos with the sock monkey. Right now, you're about the same size!

Bad photo, but it was too funny not to add!

Week 4 started off with some boy bonding time with Daddy.

Look at those lips! Just like daddy!

Just this week, you started to make more noises and little whimpers. It scared me at first because I didn't know if something was wrong. Now it's just cute to listen to your little sounds!

We love when you sleep on the bed between us...if you're not spitting up. You passed out one night while we watched tv!

I took you to the Botanic Gardens one day when we didn't have any plans. It was a little cloudy, but it cleared up at the end so we could take some photos. As usual, you pretty much slept through the whole thing!

By mid-week, I started to figure out how much you love your sea horse. Every morning, I put you on the floor for some play time with the sea horse. You'd start to drift off to sleep and then wake up as soon as the music stopped.

Your 1 month birthday is also your Aunt Julie's birthday. We sent her a message on Facebook from her favorite nephew.

In the morning, you played on the floor with Kitty while I got dressed.

Later that day, you had your 1 month check-up at the pediatrician. You were a trooper with your Hepatitis shot and getting poked by the doctor!

One Month Stats:
Weight: 6 lbs, 14 oz. (3%)
Height: 21.25 inches (25-50%) & grew 1.5 inches!
Head: 25%

The doctor said you're doing well and was very impressed that your hematoma is almost completely gone! She said you're still a little small but probably just built like Mommy. We're going to try to feed you a little more often so you can gain more weight. She wants you to start on vitamins and you don't even seem to mind taking the drops so far. We'll be back at the doctor for month 2.

Daddy is a little obsessed with Football Sunday, but I dressed you up for the occasion. I had a few free hours over the weekend and made you a little football toy with taggies & bells.

It's been such an amazing month. I can't imagine my life without you now that you're here. Every day is something new as I watch you grow and develop.

The many faces of Connor

Good baby?

People always ask me, "Is he a good baby?" and I never know how to answer.

I've been to 2 new mom groups in the past week. I decided to go to be social and maybe try to meet other moms in the area. I only have a limited amount of time before I have to go back to work, but I like being able to socialize and talk to other people going through the same thing I am.

After both groups, I came home in shock. The stories I heard were not what I expected at all! We would compare stories about sleeping, breastfeeding, crying, etc. and I was so surprised to hear how much worse the other moms had it!

When we talked about sleeping babies, I said that Connor usually sleeps 4 or 5 hours at a time at night. He's usually pretty easy to get to sleep except for the pacifier fight (in and out). I had no idea how lucky I was until the other moms explained how they hardly get any sleep and their babies sleep for maybe 2 hours at a time. A lot of them talked about how it's hard to take a shower or get anything done some days. I totally get it, but I guess I'm pretty lucky that I can shower every day (if I want to), I can do laundry, and I can get the dishes done.

Things aren't all peachy and Connor does have his cranky time in the late afternoon. He usually won't stop crying and nothing will help calm him down. But I'm very thankful it happens during the day and not at night!

We also talked a lot about breastfeeding. A lot of the moms said they were shocked at how hard and painful it was. I felt really dumb saying it wasn't that painful at all for me. Yes, it hurts for 30 seconds, but it really isn't as bad as I thought. I completely agreed that it's hard work, it's tiring, and it's hard to plan your life in 3 hour increments. Connor is a latching pro so I was dumbfounded as I watched a couple moms try to breastfeed. Their babies were kicking and crying in the middle of feeding which made it very difficult for the moms.

At the mom group sponsored by the hospital and run by a nurse, there was only one other mom. She obsessed over feeding and seemed to have a really hard time with it. She was so concerned with what other people were telling her and things she read in books that she was driving herself crazy. It was hard not to roll my eyes listening to how crazy she was. When the nurse started to suggest another way of thinking and some ideas about how to make it easier, I would nod my head. Everything she suggested was exactly the way I was doing things. So when they would ask me how I did it, all I could say was that I was following her suggestions and everything was working pretty well. At the end, the nurse said to me, "You guys seem pretty content." Yeah, I guess we are! I just had no idea!

I did want to spend some time talking about the pacifier with the nurse to get her opinions on it. I told her how I didn't want to have to use it, but Connor needs something in his mouth ALL the time. I worry about him having bad teeth later or being super attached to it until he's 10. She made me feel a lot better about using it. She actually said it can be a really good thing that he has something that calms him. A lot of babies don't have a magic thing that makes them happy. She also said his teeth should be fine because his mouth is still growing and they'll correct themselves once he stops using it. So now I don't feel as bad about having to use it. My goal is to try to have him rely on it a little less, but I'm not super concerned if he needs it a lot now.

The one thing that the other moms do have going for them is that most of them are not going back to work. I'd love to work part-time, but that just won't happen. I have to remind myself that we bought this house with the plan that I would continue to work. I want Connor to have a good life and provide him with everything he needs. I want him to go to college and be able to pay for him to go. So like my parents, it might not always be easy, but I'm doing it for him.

So now when people ask me if he's a good baby, I know my answer should be YES. I'm very lucky to have a such a great baby.

Hotel California

Today I had lunch with my friend Christina and she was telling me about her daughter who loves certain songs while they drive in the car. So tonight, Connor started getting fussy and cranky and I decided we should introduce him to some music besides baby lullabies.

I rocked him in the chair in our bedroom and grabbed by phone to turn on I <3 Radio. I went through a bunch of random genres of music to see how he would react. When Mariah Carey came on, he started to smile! Then Hubby warned him that he should NOT like Mariah like I do. So Connor started fussing and shaking his head uncontrollably until his pacifier went flying. He seemed to enjoy "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry and Justin Timberlake and stopped crying for those songs. But his favorite was definitely "Hotel California" by the Eagles. I turned on the lyrics and sang along to the whole song and he loved it!

Good taste for a 4 week old baby!

How to be a happy mom

I saw this on The Idea Room and thought it was really important to read and remember. Now that I'm a mom, I have to balance even more things in my life. I have to constantly remind myself that Connor and his happiness comes first and I need to treasure every minute with him.

1. Happy Moms Avoid Comparisons As mothers and women we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. If we want to be happy, we have to stop. We are usually comparing our weaknesses and shortcoming to someone else’s strengths. It is not a fair comparison. And, when we compare, we foster feelings of jealousy and envy. Those feelings will make us miserable. There will always be someone skinnier, with a cleaner house and with kids that seem more behaved. Always. SO what…comparing will not make us skinner, or our house cleaner. Don’t waste energy on comparing. It is the same with our children. Don’t compare our kids to others. When we do, we miss all the magic that is in each of our own children. We overlook how wonderful and unique they are. And we put unfair pressure on them. When we find ourselves longing for someone else’s life, sit down with a piece of paper and pen and start listing all the things you are thankful for. List all the blessings in your life. When you feel yourself starting to compare again, get out the paper and re-read all that you are thankful for. We will quickly realize how blessed we really are. The other thing we can do to stop the comparing is to serve others. Serving others brings humility and helps us recognize our many blessings. Lastly, we have to be careful with social media. It is easy to read about all the recipes and refinished furniture and beautifully sewn cloths and feel inadequate. Just because we don’t do all those things, doesn’t mean we are less. Nor should we compare ourselves to all the “ideal” posts we read.

This isn't an issue for me yet because I'm still stuck in the house, but I know it will hit home very soon. No matter if you're in 4th grade, high school, working, or now a mom, it's important to remember that everyone is different. Moms might look like they have it all, but no one does. We all have our ups and downs.

2. Happy Moms Recognize Their Worth. There comes a time when we have to accept ourselves, as is. We need to love ourselves. Instead of wondering what we are good for, we need to know that our role is THE most important role. We are raising and influencing future generations. We are primarily responsible for nurturing little human beings. It doesn’t get more important than that. Even if we don’t have children of our own, there is nothing that compares to a women’s loving influence. Take a minute and write down all the things that you are good at. Don’t be shy, write them down. Maybe you are a good friend, patient, a talented seamstress, or creative. Own them, find strength in your strengths and use them to help others. The sooner we can recognize our true worth, the happier we will be.

I didn't understand it until I went through it. Being a mom is hard. It's a 24/7 job and there's no one to say "thank you" and really show you how much they appreciate all your worth. You have to recognize that on your own. It's a difficult point to get to, but it's important to know how much your hard work will influence that little one.

3. Happy Moms Choose Good Friends. We are quick to preach this to our children, but do we realize how important it is for us. We need to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, who believe in us, and who support us. Avoid relationships that are one sided and draining. We want friends who don’t compare, who revel in our successes and who believe in lifting others up, not putting others down. That is also the type of friend we want to be for others.

Having friends that bring you down is just a waste of time and energy. As a mom, we only have a certain amount of time in the day. We need to surround ourselves with friends and family who make us happy and make us smile.

4. Happy Moms Have Faith and Pray The act of being faithful, in and of itself raises our spirits and gives us hope. Hope is happy and healing. Couple that hope with prayer and the sun will shine happy rays. :) Even on the worst of days, having faith that we are trying our best and that tomorrow will be better, can help us feel happy today. Prayer can help us lead happier lives also. It gives us a chance to express gratitude and ask for help.

I'm not into the whole religion thing too much, but I think it's important to have faith in a larger sense. Have faith in yourself and the way you raise your child. Have faith in your decisions and be confident that you are doing the best you can.

5. Happy Moms Make Time For Themselves As mothers and women, we tend to take care of ourselves last. I have caught myself more than once saying “when the kids are older then I will have time for….”. We need to stop thinking like that. We should find some time for ourselves to cultivate our gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn to do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. It is not selfish.

I can see how moms have less time once they have another life to take care of, but I can't imagine not taking a little time just for yourself to unwind. Whether it's a nap when I'm still on maternity leave, taking a couple hours to go shopping, or even taking a walk outside with the baby, just those little moments can do so much for my sanity.

6. Happy Moms Simplify We need to clean up and clear out. Take a look at your schedule and make sure it is not too full. Don’t over schedule our kids, or ourselves. Juggling a million things doesn’t make us better moms with cooler kids. It just stresses us out. We are not happy when we are stressed. Our kids only need one or two extra activities, same with us as moms. We should simplify our homes also. Too many clothes and toys in our homes and cars add stress. It can become overwhelming to manage so much stuff. Simplify. Cut down to what is manageable and spend less time keeping up with all the stuff, and more time with those you love, doing things you want to do and being happy.

I'm glad we did some of this while I was still pregnant. I went through a little nesting phase and got rid of a bunch of old stuff. Then the flood in the basement "helped" us get rid of a lot more crap. Now, I'm really trying to keep up this organizing and simplifying with a little one. I know I need my rest and I can't be running from one thing to the next even if I feel like I should. I'll push myself too hard and end up exhausted and overworked.

7. Happy Moms Stop Worrying I am very guilty of this. I am a worrier. It causes stress, and then I am not happy. It will take practice, but think about it this way: If you can’t change it or control it, then there is no need to worry about it. Instead think about what you can control and put your efforts there. The other thing we can do to stop worrying is to turn off the news. I watch the news filled with all the negative and horrible and I worry more.

This hasn't really hit me yet, but I'm sure I'll have a lifetime of worrying ahead with a child growing up. I just have to remind myself of this as things come up.

8. Happy Moms Smile and Laugh Smiling and laughing naturally brings happiness. Let your face light up and let out a giggle. In fact, smile at someone else and watch their face light up. We can get so rushed and serious that we forget to be happy. So even if you have to force it at first, smile.

Most important! This is huge. I get so worked up and caught up in the stress and what needs to get done that I forget to smile and laugh. Luckily, Connor is making this a little easier. I can just sit and watch him and he always makes me smile with his funny faces or cute noises!

Connor's Week 3

We had another busy weekend! The sun popped out on Saturday so I brought Connor out in the front yard to hang out in the grass for the first time.

Later in the day, Aunt Teri and Great-Grandma Tunison came from Indiana to see the little one.

Lots of hugs and snuggling!

Shh! Don't wake the baby! Kitty jumped up on the couch while Connor was sleeping on me one morning. It was so hard to take a photo with my phone without moving either of them!

And more sleeping...Daddy and Connor passed out in bed on Friday morning!


Thursday before our first New Mom group, Connor modeled for the camera in one of my favorite pairs of pajamas. Snugglesaurus!

Waving hello!

Me: 3 weeks post-partum

Mommy is exhausted, but she's doing pretty well.

The first week I was really scared. I was worried I was quickly falling into post-partum depression. I was crying ALL the time, I was frustrated with having to care for the baby, and I was still in so much pain. The last 2 weeks have been much better and I feel more like myself. Though "myself" is not the same as it used to be, at least I'm not crying all the time and I'm handling the situation a lot better.

I love spending time with Connor, but it's also strange to be at home. I sometimes struggle when he's hard to calm down. I really see how being a mom is such hard work. It's not a job that you leave after 8 hours and then get to forget about until the next day. It's a 24/7 job that you never get a break from. It's fulfulling, but gosh, it's tiring too!

To keep myself from going crazy, I've been trying to take him on more walks outside. The exercise is great and it's nice to be outside and enjoy the weather. I'm hoping the walks are helping me get rid of the belly a little too. It's only been 3 weeks, but I do want my stomach back. I gained 25 pounds during the pregnancy and I'm down to about 7 pounds above my weight at BFP. But anyone who knows me knows that I don't care about the number on the scale. I go by how I look and how my clothes fit. And my clothes do not fit. I'm perfectly happy with every other part of my body except my hips/stomach. My hips widened a lot and now things don't fit how they used to. Although I'm happy not to have stretch marks or that saggy extra belly skin, I'd like my stomach to get a little flatter. Maybe it's selfish to want this so quickly, but I think I would feel better about myself.

I have to admit how much fun it is to take him out with me. He attracts so much attention at the store and on walks because he's so tiny! People are constantly stopping me to see him and gush over how cute he is. I'm such a proud mommy! But people also comment on my body all the time too. It's nice to hear from total strangers that I look good and some of them are even shocked that he came from my body. Maybe I just need to be more proud of my mommy body. I don't know, I guess time will tell on this one...

My other struggle is about going back to work. Obviously, I don't have a choice with that one. I WISH I could work part-time 3 or 4 days a week so I could have a little extra time with Connor. I know I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom, but I'd love an extra day or two to spend with him each week. I'm also worried about having to work full time, take care of time, and take care of myself at the same time. Our families have offered to help, but obviously, most of that will still be our responsibility to figure out. I really don't know how working parents do it. I guess I will soon find out...

And now back to some smiles!

People keep saying how much he looks like me (and my dad). So weird to carry around a little mini me!

Week 2 & 3 Adventures

:::giggle:::
How can you resist this little O face?

Connor is so lucky to have so many caring family & friends. Just today we got 4 packages delivered with gifts for him! He's showing off his giraffe play mat from Gail here.

This weekend was very exciting because Connor got to meet his cousin Grady.

Hard to imagine that they'll be the same size in a couple years since they're only 7 months apart! Poor Connor looks so miserable in these photos...

"Get in my belly!"

Grandpa T got Connor a bottle of scotch for him and Daddy to open on his 21st birthday. Hard to imagine him turning 21 when he turns 21 days tomorrow!

My love/hate relationship with the pacifier

Connor is a sucker. He'll suck on anything he can find to satisfy himself. I'd prefer that he suck on his hand or a finger, but he doesn't realize he has control of his hands and then pulls them out of his mouth. Last week, he would not go to sleep no matter what we did and we had to try the pacifier so we wouldn't pull out hair out. I did NOT want to do it! But luckily, it worked and we were able to get some sleep.

The pacifier is such a hard thing. I know some parents hate them and some love them. I don't really care about anyone else's opinion because we all do what works best for our child. I try not to use it as much as possible. But there are times when I know nothing will calm him down besides that little piece of rubber. Honestly, I feel like he's going to be sucking his thumb or addicted to the pacifier until he's like 8, so why not mix it up?

So now we are using it, but I try not to make a habit of it. It's for the times when I'm going crazy and don't know what else to do to get him to calm down.

Mr. Crankypants in Week 2

As week 2 comes to an end, Connor has given himself a new nickname - Mr. Crankypants! We say it with love!

He's starting to show his personality as he grows. He has his happy times when we think we might see a little smile and he has his cranky times when he cries and waves his arms like crazy. Daddy does such a great job of cheering him up and getting him to crack a little smile.

Our favorite face is what we call the "O Face" and it always makes up laugh.

When he gets cranky, he starts fussing for anything to suck on whether it's the top of his hand, a finger, or a sleeve. As much as I didn't want to, we had to start using the pacifier for those horrible times.

Breastfeeding is still going pretty well. I was getting a little sore by Saturday, so we took a break for 24 hours. I pumped and Daddy bottlefed for the day. I was hoping it wouldn't mess things up and luckily, it didn't. He was back to breastfeeding the next day with no problems and I was feeling a lot better.

We're starting to go on more walks now that I'm feeling better. I love being outside and enjoying the fresh air while it's still pretty warm out. Connor just sleeps through every walk!

Labor Day Weekend

This weekend we had our first family fun day at Septemberfest in Schaumburg. I've always gone myself for the craft fair, but this year I wanted to make it a family outing. The weather was perfect!

All summer, I wanted a funnel cake as a pregnancy treat. It didn't end up happening while pregnant, but 1.5 weeks post-partum is pretty close!

Little Connor slept through the entire festival!

Even in the noisy food tent and through the crazy carnival rides, he was fast asleep!
At the craft fair, we picked out a cute monkey Christmas ornament that we got personalized with his name and the year on it.

Once we got home, we took some photos in the backyard. Someone was a little cranky with a smelly diaper!

Mr. Cranky! But we still had fun at the festival!

Sleepy baby on labor day weekend

Before connor's first festival ...