Strawberry Mark at 1 Year

I wanted to make sure to photograph progress of her strawberry marks as she grows up so we can see how it (hopefully) fades away.  This was taken at 12 months.

This was taken at 1 month old, so they definitely got bigger.  The little red dots on her neck get darker and lighter depending on the day.  Sometimes, they show more than they do on other days.

I really expected to have more progress with the fading by now since Connor's strawberry mark was gone by the time he was about 10 months old.  I'm glad it looks like her hair is going to cover it, but I hope one day it's completely gone.  It does make her who she is, but I would hate for her to be teased about it as she gets older.

The really interesting thing is that hardly any kids say anything.  I expected more toddlers to notice, but they don't!  It's adults who used to comment more on it.  I think only one toddler asked me what it was, but she did it in such a cute and polite way that it ended up being adorable.  She was just so observant that I found it admirable.  Adults have said things that I didn't like as much, but I just brush it off.  This is who she is and we love her! :)  Anyway, I'm sure she'll have a lot more hair in the next year and they'll be covered even more.

Me.

So yeah, this is kind of a shock.  Never thought in a million years I'd ever see a two-digit number when weighing myself.  (Ignore my nasty nail polish, but hey, it's winter.)  I weighed 100 when I started college, so I probably weighed 96 during my senior year in high school or something.  I obviously don't have the same body anymore since everything has shifted around from childbirth, and I definitely don't feel like I'm in high school.

The baby weight kind of flew off this time due to 2 kids, running around like a crazy person, breastfeeding, and my migraine meds that can cause weight loss.  Honestly, it's kind of nice to have one less thing to worry about right now, so I'm enjoying the fact that I can have a beer every other night (dark beer for milk supply) and a couple lactation cookies.  I'm 99% sure I'm gaining at least 5 lbs back after I stop breastfeeding, so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.  I'm still eating the same way I always did and working out the same amount I always have. 

Someone recently told me they were a little worried because I looked too skinny and part of me was like, "Well, thanks!" and then part of me was like, "Ooh, well, maybe I look worse than I thought."  But that's the normal struggle I've always had.  I don't have any kind of eating disorder and I don't work out too much.  If you know me, you'll see me drink beer and eat dessert.  I've fluctuated up and down 15 pounds in the past 15 years (when not pregnant).  I'm not confident and I'm uncomfortable with myself when I'm bigger.  Yes, maybe people thought I looked better being a little bigger, but to me, it felt odd.  To grow up always being skinny, I didn't feel comfortable NOT being that way. 

Anyway, this post kind of went off on a tangent of where I was planning on going, but I won't delete it now.  This is more of just a record of where I am not at 7 months post-partum.  I can guarantee I'll be back up by the end of summer when I'm breastfeeding a lot less, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.  One day, I'll look back at this photo and be shocked!

Caylee's Birthmarks

Now that it's been almost 7 months, I thought it was a good time to do a birthmark update.  Considering they were pretty much non-existent when she was born, they've gotten a lot bigger.  However, the doctor is still promising me that the strawberry marks will go away.  She said the little gray areas are showing progress that they're starting to heal and I can see hair starting to grow in them too.  The smaller "stork bites" are probably permanent, but at least those aren't as obvious.  Her hair should cover those completely.

Since she can sit up now, they're definitely more obvious than they were when she was laying down all the time.  They're a part of who she is, but I do hope the strawberry marks get smaller as she grows up.  I would hate for her to be made fun of if it takes awhile for her hair to grow in.  That's why she wears so many pretty hair bows!

Strawberry Mark

Looks like Caylee is taking after her big brother with a little strawberry mark.  It started to appear when she was about a week old and has gotten bigger in the last few weeks.  Luckily, it's hidden by her hair and there's a few hairs starting to grow around it.  It's hard to see, but there are small red dots that go down right below it and stop around her hairline.

Connor's was on the back of his leg and I was happy to see that it was completely gone in less than a year.  I hope this one disappears that quickly and I hope the hair grows in once it's gone.  It's actually kinda cute in a weird way, but I don't want her to have a bald spot!

Me. Week 3.

The last 3 weeks have flown by and everything is kind of a blur now.

The first few days at home were really hard and I was super emotional.  I know it was probably the hormones, but at the time, I worried that it might continue and it was just going to be too overwhelming for me.  Fortunately, after things slowed down, I felt better and started to settle in to a new routine.  It's been really nice that Caylee is a good baby and sleeps a lot so I can keep up on life.  The more I get behind with normal things like doing dishes, laundry, reading email, etc., the more stressed I get.  But since she's so sleepy, I've been able to keep up with everything else.

When I was in the hospital, all the meds and IVs made me swell up even more than I was before.  My face looked disgusting and so bloated.  When they weighed me, I was sad to see that I had only lost the weight of the baby and nothing else by the time I went home.  I knew I shouldn't be concentrating on my weight and how I looked right away, but it was hard not to at least think about it.  As Caylee's first week came to a close, I went back to the OB to make sure my blood pressure was down and make sure my blood tests were normal again.  When the nurse weighed me, I was in shock...and so I weighed myself when I got home again just to be sure.  Down 20 pounds!  What?!?

Weight at BFP: 110
Weight at Caylee's birth: 135
Weight at 1 week post-partum: 115

I must have had way more water weight that I ever thought because I didn't even think it was possible to lose 20 pounds in a week.  I thought I gained a lot more over the pregnancy just based on how I was eating and how I couldn't work out as much as I wanted to.

Even though my weight went down, I still couldn't fit into any shorts or pants because of my hips, so I ended up going out to buy a new pair of shorts.  I need something besides yoga pants...maybe?

So now it's 3 weeks post-partum...  I'm down another 2 pounds and I'm starting to fit into a couple pairs of jeans.  Emotionally, I'm doing pretty well too.  I have times when I feel overwhelmed, but I'm trying to work through them and just take things one at a time with my to-do list.  The one thing that I need to get out of my head is constantly thinking about how much time I have left before I have to go back to work.  I don't want to focus on it all the time, but it's hard not to have it in the back of my head.  I also worry that I don't spend enough time treasuring the newborn time when I feel like I have so much other stuff to do.  I want to make more of an effort to spend quality time with her and less time trying to keep up with emails and technology, but it's hard because if I don't keep up, I get stressed.  The time goes so fast each day!

I'll figure it out eventually, I guess...

I love that I taught him this new trick

Don't mind our messy room in the background, but I wanted to show off the new skill I taught Connor last week.  He thinks it's hilarious to look at me through his legs!  Then when I do it, he crawls through my legs and does the trick again to look back at me!

What's up with the rash on the back of his knee?  Not sure, but it went away, so I'm not too worried...

Me.

Umm, when did this happen?

Baby weight is gone and then some.  I'm still trying to figure out what got smaller.  Maybe my boobs?  They're pretty much nonexistent now even though I'm still nursing twice a day.

With all the crap going on, I don't make it to the gym nearly as often as I'd like to.  I'm still not really sure how this happened, but I guess it's kinda cool that I didn't have to try very hard to make it happen.  I haven't seen this number since I started college 12 years ago!

Boy parts

Someone had started to get interested in his lower area during the past week. He's been grabbing at his diaper a lot and he giggled when I was washing the area during his bath!

Strawberry mark: 8.5 months later

It's been 8.5 months and it's just about gone!

This was how big it was back in October...

This is at the end of March...

And this is now!

It's light pink almost like a little scratch and barely noticeable.
I knew it would be gone in time for shorts season!

Post-partum hair loss

It's here.

I thought maybe I got lucky and would just be able to keep my extra thick hair forever.

But no, 8 months later and I think my body finally decided to let it go. I'm a little sad. I loved my thicker hair because my hair was so thin to begin with. I also think this might mean AF is on its way too. Also, I feel like my eyesight has gotten worse in the last few weeks. I feel old now.

Weight Musings

I was shocked when I stepped on the scale the other day.

100.

What?

The scale must be broken. I better do it again.

100.

Holy crap.

I weigh as much as I did when I started college!

I lost a lot of the muscle I had before I got pregnant. I've been sick 6 times in the past 7 months and only work out about 3 times a week compared to the 5 or 6 I used to do. Running around all the time and up and down the stairs must have really paid off! I definitely don't feel like my body is the same, but I'm happy with the progress I've made in such a short time. I'd really like to put on a little more muscle on my arms and abs and maybe try to start running again if I can find a bra that will work.

It's such a weird feeling to be able to fit in a lot of my old clothes. I just started buying a few new spring things now that I feel like my body is mostly back to normal. I'd really like to have a few things that I like and I feel good in rather than all my old stuff that just looks kind of awkward and old.

Next up, get healthy so we can go swimming, try to run outside, and get some of those mom arm muscles.

My peanut has become chunky peanut butter

When did he go from a little skinny peanut...

...to a chunk?

I took him out for a walk (and nap) and he just looked so big! Those solids are really helping him put on weight!

The fading strawberry mark

The strawberry mark in October...

And now...

We're shocked at how quickly it's fading and getting less three-dimensional! Every time I look, I feel like it gets smaller. The doctor told us it would probably be gone in a year or two and it looks like she was right!

Jeans victory!

This week, I did something very scary.

I went down to the basement and dusted off the box labeled "Small Clothes." These are the clothes I put away when I started gaining weight from fertility treatments and I figured would sit in the box for the next 9 years while I attempted to fit into them again. Then I would eventually donate them once they were out of style and I would feel sad that I never got to wear them again.

So anyway, I grabbed 2 pairs of size 0 skinny jeans and went back upstairs to my bedroom.

Holding my breath with my heart beating fast, I slipped the first pair on.

Holy shit.

They button!

:::Happy dance:::

Same with the second pair!

Am I dreaming?

I was wearing size zero jeans! Of course, they were still a little tight, but wow. Mama worked hard to get back into these!

Eek, swimsuit!

I've mentioned before that I really want to get Connor in the pool very soon. We got the new park district catalog over the weekend and I was looking at the classes and open swim times. Too bad I'm not a SAHM because they have Mom & Tot swimming every day in the toddler pool! But the open swim on weekends should work for us and then maybe we'll try lessons over the summer or next year.

Saturday, I decided to try on my swimsuit. It was before I ate anything, so that helped a lot. Not too bad actually! I love that swimsuit (bought it for my honeymoon 4.5 years ago) so I'm glad it still fits. After that surprise, I went over to the scale. 104. Um, what?!? How can I weigh less than I did when I was at my fitness best 2 summers ago? I must have lost some muscle or something. Whatever it was, that was a pleasant surprise! Now I just have to keep it up...

Feet!

During the week, Connor was having some naked time on the floor.

What are these?

TOES!

He loves to grab them now!

The Mom Chop

I finally did it.

5 inches gone!

I haven't cut my hair like this since 2004. I was so scared to do it and it took me about 2 weeks to mentally prepare for it. I think I was numb after I did it so it didn't really hit me right away. I'm still adjusting...

A little smile inside...

for the fact that I can fit in all my pre-pregnancy pants again! Woo hoo!

All my size 2s are back in on the clothes rack! The 0s are still sadly hanging on the side or in boxes, but I don't think I really expected to ever fit into those again. I'm pretty happy with the progress from working out and I haven't even started running again.

Some shirts are still not fitting the way I want them as much, but I do have a nice chunk that I can wear again. Swimsuits and swimming lessons are on my mind all the time and I need to get ready!

My mama body

I worked really hard to get the "perfect body" before I got pregnant. I was working out 5-6 days a week and putting on muscle like never before. I got down to 5 pounds more than I was when I graduated high school.

When I got pregnant, I had a bit of a hard time getting used to the extra weight. After a few months, it was kinda fun not to have to even worry about how my abs looked. I figured they were still in there somewhere, right? About an hour after I gave birth, the doctor was checking my abdomen & uterus to see if it had gone down. I was sitting up in bed and leaning forward and the doctor said she was shocked that she could feel my ab muscles in there. They're still there?!?

I figured it would take some time to get the weight off after giving birth. I was still in maternity clothes for the first month and then switched over to my couple pairs of fat pants and a lot of comfy clothes. By the time I was getting ready to go back work, I could only fit in a few things. I figured it might be a good idea to go shopping and buy a few things so I would feel better about my body and be comfortable at work.

I started working out more regularly once I got back to work just over a month ago. Apparently, it was pretty stupid to buy new clothes back in October because they're getting pretty big now. I'm even a little shocked at how much I've lost since going back to work. I'm definitely not where I used to be, but it was a pretty quick change. Sometimes I walk past the mirror on the stairs at work and I do a double-take at my body. I can't believe that's really me.

Now that I can fit into a good amount of clothes, my next goal is to be able to take Connor swimming this summer. I'm definitely not confident to do it now (unless I don't eat that day and suck in like crazy), but I'm hoping in another few months I'll be ready. I don't know that I'm willing to accept the mama body as it is now, so I'm motivated to keep working towards something better.

I don't diet and never will. All I can do it continue to TRY to eat healthy, make good choices and continue to work out as much as I can.

Strawberry mark

Yep, you have a little strawberry mark on the back of your leg just below your knee. It appeared when you were a few weeks old. At first, it was small and we thought maybe you got your leg pinched in the car seat or something. It started to get bigger and more raised over the next couple of months.

I was reading a parenting magazine and came across an article about baby birthmarks. When I read the description about hemangiomas, it sounded exactly like yours. The doctor later confirmed that it was a strawberry mark.

Hemangiomas are a common vascular birthmark. Their cause is unknown. The color results from the development of blood vessels at the site. Strawberry hemangiomas (strawberry mark, nevus vascularis, capillary hemangioma, hemangioma simplex) may develop several weeks after birth. Many strawberry hemangiomas, cavernous hemangiomas, and salmon patches are temporary and do not need treatment. Strawberry hemangiomas usually grow quickly, stay the same size, and then go away. Ninety-five percent of strawberry hemangiomas disappear by the time the child is 9 years old. However, there may be some slight discoloration or puckering of the skin where a strawberry hemangioma was.

I'm glad it's nothing serious. We got lucky that it's in a hidden spot so it's not very noticeable. It just makes you extra special!