Showing posts with label support group. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support group. Show all posts
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Friday, September 23, 2011
Good baby?
People always ask me, "Is he a good baby?" and I never know how to answer.
I've been to 2 new mom groups in the past week. I decided to go to be social and maybe try to meet other moms in the area. I only have a limited amount of time before I have to go back to work, but I like being able to socialize and talk to other people going through the same thing I am.
After both groups, I came home in shock. The stories I heard were not what I expected at all! We would compare stories about sleeping, breastfeeding, crying, etc. and I was so surprised to hear how much worse the other moms had it!
When we talked about sleeping babies, I said that Connor usually sleeps 4 or 5 hours at a time at night. He's usually pretty easy to get to sleep except for the pacifier fight (in and out). I had no idea how lucky I was until the other moms explained how they hardly get any sleep and their babies sleep for maybe 2 hours at a time. A lot of them talked about how it's hard to take a shower or get anything done some days. I totally get it, but I guess I'm pretty lucky that I can shower every day (if I want to), I can do laundry, and I can get the dishes done.
Things aren't all peachy and Connor does have his cranky time in the late afternoon. He usually won't stop crying and nothing will help calm him down. But I'm very thankful it happens during the day and not at night!
We also talked a lot about breastfeeding. A lot of the moms said they were shocked at how hard and painful it was. I felt really dumb saying it wasn't that painful at all for me. Yes, it hurts for 30 seconds, but it really isn't as bad as I thought. I completely agreed that it's hard work, it's tiring, and it's hard to plan your life in 3 hour increments. Connor is a latching pro so I was dumbfounded as I watched a couple moms try to breastfeed. Their babies were kicking and crying in the middle of feeding which made it very difficult for the moms.
At the mom group sponsored by the hospital and run by a nurse, there was only one other mom. She obsessed over feeding and seemed to have a really hard time with it. She was so concerned with what other people were telling her and things she read in books that she was driving herself crazy. It was hard not to roll my eyes listening to how crazy she was. When the nurse started to suggest another way of thinking and some ideas about how to make it easier, I would nod my head. Everything she suggested was exactly the way I was doing things. So when they would ask me how I did it, all I could say was that I was following her suggestions and everything was working pretty well. At the end, the nurse said to me, "You guys seem pretty content." Yeah, I guess we are! I just had no idea!
I did want to spend some time talking about the pacifier with the nurse to get her opinions on it. I told her how I didn't want to have to use it, but Connor needs something in his mouth ALL the time. I worry about him having bad teeth later or being super attached to it until he's 10. She made me feel a lot better about using it. She actually said it can be a really good thing that he has something that calms him. A lot of babies don't have a magic thing that makes them happy. She also said his teeth should be fine because his mouth is still growing and they'll correct themselves once he stops using it. So now I don't feel as bad about having to use it. My goal is to try to have him rely on it a little less, but I'm not super concerned if he needs it a lot now.
The one thing that the other moms do have going for them is that most of them are not going back to work. I'd love to work part-time, but that just won't happen. I have to remind myself that we bought this house with the plan that I would continue to work. I want Connor to have a good life and provide him with everything he needs. I want him to go to college and be able to pay for him to go. So like my parents, it might not always be easy, but I'm doing it for him.
So now when people ask me if he's a good baby, I know my answer should be YES. I'm very lucky to have a such a great baby.
I've been to 2 new mom groups in the past week. I decided to go to be social and maybe try to meet other moms in the area. I only have a limited amount of time before I have to go back to work, but I like being able to socialize and talk to other people going through the same thing I am.
After both groups, I came home in shock. The stories I heard were not what I expected at all! We would compare stories about sleeping, breastfeeding, crying, etc. and I was so surprised to hear how much worse the other moms had it!
When we talked about sleeping babies, I said that Connor usually sleeps 4 or 5 hours at a time at night. He's usually pretty easy to get to sleep except for the pacifier fight (in and out). I had no idea how lucky I was until the other moms explained how they hardly get any sleep and their babies sleep for maybe 2 hours at a time. A lot of them talked about how it's hard to take a shower or get anything done some days. I totally get it, but I guess I'm pretty lucky that I can shower every day (if I want to), I can do laundry, and I can get the dishes done.
Things aren't all peachy and Connor does have his cranky time in the late afternoon. He usually won't stop crying and nothing will help calm him down. But I'm very thankful it happens during the day and not at night!
We also talked a lot about breastfeeding. A lot of the moms said they were shocked at how hard and painful it was. I felt really dumb saying it wasn't that painful at all for me. Yes, it hurts for 30 seconds, but it really isn't as bad as I thought. I completely agreed that it's hard work, it's tiring, and it's hard to plan your life in 3 hour increments. Connor is a latching pro so I was dumbfounded as I watched a couple moms try to breastfeed. Their babies were kicking and crying in the middle of feeding which made it very difficult for the moms.
At the mom group sponsored by the hospital and run by a nurse, there was only one other mom. She obsessed over feeding and seemed to have a really hard time with it. She was so concerned with what other people were telling her and things she read in books that she was driving herself crazy. It was hard not to roll my eyes listening to how crazy she was. When the nurse started to suggest another way of thinking and some ideas about how to make it easier, I would nod my head. Everything she suggested was exactly the way I was doing things. So when they would ask me how I did it, all I could say was that I was following her suggestions and everything was working pretty well. At the end, the nurse said to me, "You guys seem pretty content." Yeah, I guess we are! I just had no idea!
I did want to spend some time talking about the pacifier with the nurse to get her opinions on it. I told her how I didn't want to have to use it, but Connor needs something in his mouth ALL the time. I worry about him having bad teeth later or being super attached to it until he's 10. She made me feel a lot better about using it. She actually said it can be a really good thing that he has something that calms him. A lot of babies don't have a magic thing that makes them happy. She also said his teeth should be fine because his mouth is still growing and they'll correct themselves once he stops using it. So now I don't feel as bad about having to use it. My goal is to try to have him rely on it a little less, but I'm not super concerned if he needs it a lot now.
The one thing that the other moms do have going for them is that most of them are not going back to work. I'd love to work part-time, but that just won't happen. I have to remind myself that we bought this house with the plan that I would continue to work. I want Connor to have a good life and provide him with everything he needs. I want him to go to college and be able to pay for him to go. So like my parents, it might not always be easy, but I'm doing it for him.
So now when people ask me if he's a good baby, I know my answer should be YES. I'm very lucky to have a such a great baby.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
One Week Old!
I can't believe our little guy is already a week old! (Don't cry, Lisa. I was dreading writing this post b/c I knew it would be way too emotional.)
As you lay sleeping next to my right thigh in the bed, I just tear up even looking at you. A week ago, my life changed forever. I had no idea what to expect and it's so hard to even put it all into words. There are so many little amazing moments that I just want to treasure forever. Yesterday spent hours crying because I already feel like it's going by so fast and I'm not getting to enjoy every single minute of it as much as I'd like.
Your Daddy and I are just in awe of every little thing you do:
-We sit and stare at you and your facial expressions that change every second. What are you thinking about?
-Your "O" face when your little mouth is open in a round shape and your eyes are wide open and looking at us
-The most soft head of hair I've ever felt and how it sticks up so cute after your bath (we didn't even expect you to have hair!)
-Your VERY dark blue gray eyes open more and more each day. We're in awe of how dark they are!
-Your mouth. So much to say about it and I have a feeling we'll be telling you stories about this when you're older. Everyone who sees you is amazed by your little mouth and how obsessed you are with it. From the minute you were born, you were sucking on your fingers, sleeves, top of your hand, and anything else you could get ahold of. The little sucking sound is the cutest thing ever! And Mommy thanks you for your very gifted latching ability even from your first feeding.
-Your little fingers and toes are mirror images of mine. Long skinny fingers and the exact same shape of nails as your Mommy are so amazing to look at.
I love watching Daddy play with you and hold you. He's such a wonderful father and he has the most perfect instincts for children. He's so big and it looks so cute for him to hold such a little baby in his hands. He already finds ways to play with you and get you excited.
Stats:
Born Tuesday August 23: 6 lbs, 10 oz.
Thursday August 25 when we left the hospital: 6 lbs, 1 oz.
Saturday August 27 when we ran to the doctor b/c you wouldn't stop spiting up: 6 lbs, 3 oz.
Monday August 29 at your 1 week doctor appointment: 6 lbs, 5 oz.
The pediatrician was so impressed with your weight gain since we left the hospital! She actually said she was surprised at how quickly you're getting back to your birth weight. Your circumcision is healing perfectly and now we're done with the vaseline and gauze pads on it. I'm so proud to say that you haven't spit up for the last 3 feedings - a new record! Your hematoma on your head is still healing, but the doctor says it should be a lot smaller in a few weeks.
Your mommy has her ups and downs, but overall, she's doing pretty good. I'm still having some pain and there's still a lot of healing to do, but it's gotten a lot better. I think I was pushing myself too much over the weekend and it made things worse. Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to move around better by the end of week. The lack of sleep wasn't so bad at first, but it's starting to catch up with me. Luckily, you're a pretty good sleeper (when you go right to sleep) so I'm trying to keep up with a normal amount of sleep every night. Emotionally, your mommy is a mess. I go through ups and downs each day. If I start getting emotional and crying at every little thing, it continues for hours. It's not even that I'm depressed, but I think I'm overwhelmed with emotion and can't hold it in. When your Daddy is around, I do a lot better.
All in all, a life-changing week for our family and it will be treasured forever. I love you!
Love those fingers!
Daddy playing
Taking after Kitty and hiding the eyes
Finger sucking champion
First bath!
Right before you peed on your cute new towel!
As you lay sleeping next to my right thigh in the bed, I just tear up even looking at you. A week ago, my life changed forever. I had no idea what to expect and it's so hard to even put it all into words. There are so many little amazing moments that I just want to treasure forever. Yesterday spent hours crying because I already feel like it's going by so fast and I'm not getting to enjoy every single minute of it as much as I'd like.
Your Daddy and I are just in awe of every little thing you do:
-We sit and stare at you and your facial expressions that change every second. What are you thinking about?
-Your "O" face when your little mouth is open in a round shape and your eyes are wide open and looking at us
-The most soft head of hair I've ever felt and how it sticks up so cute after your bath (we didn't even expect you to have hair!)
-Your VERY dark blue gray eyes open more and more each day. We're in awe of how dark they are!
-Your mouth. So much to say about it and I have a feeling we'll be telling you stories about this when you're older. Everyone who sees you is amazed by your little mouth and how obsessed you are with it. From the minute you were born, you were sucking on your fingers, sleeves, top of your hand, and anything else you could get ahold of. The little sucking sound is the cutest thing ever! And Mommy thanks you for your very gifted latching ability even from your first feeding.
-Your little fingers and toes are mirror images of mine. Long skinny fingers and the exact same shape of nails as your Mommy are so amazing to look at.
I love watching Daddy play with you and hold you. He's such a wonderful father and he has the most perfect instincts for children. He's so big and it looks so cute for him to hold such a little baby in his hands. He already finds ways to play with you and get you excited.
Stats:
Born Tuesday August 23: 6 lbs, 10 oz.
Thursday August 25 when we left the hospital: 6 lbs, 1 oz.
Saturday August 27 when we ran to the doctor b/c you wouldn't stop spiting up: 6 lbs, 3 oz.
Monday August 29 at your 1 week doctor appointment: 6 lbs, 5 oz.
The pediatrician was so impressed with your weight gain since we left the hospital! She actually said she was surprised at how quickly you're getting back to your birth weight. Your circumcision is healing perfectly and now we're done with the vaseline and gauze pads on it. I'm so proud to say that you haven't spit up for the last 3 feedings - a new record! Your hematoma on your head is still healing, but the doctor says it should be a lot smaller in a few weeks.
Your mommy has her ups and downs, but overall, she's doing pretty good. I'm still having some pain and there's still a lot of healing to do, but it's gotten a lot better. I think I was pushing myself too much over the weekend and it made things worse. Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to move around better by the end of week. The lack of sleep wasn't so bad at first, but it's starting to catch up with me. Luckily, you're a pretty good sleeper (when you go right to sleep) so I'm trying to keep up with a normal amount of sleep every night. Emotionally, your mommy is a mess. I go through ups and downs each day. If I start getting emotional and crying at every little thing, it continues for hours. It's not even that I'm depressed, but I think I'm overwhelmed with emotion and can't hold it in. When your Daddy is around, I do a lot better.
All in all, a life-changing week for our family and it will be treasured forever. I love you!
Kitty - the babysitter
Love those fingers!
Daddy playing
Taking after Kitty and hiding the eyes
Finger sucking champion
First bath!
Right before you peed on your cute new towel!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Freaking out
The more I talk to people, the more I get nervous. They're being so cautious and hardly getting excited and it's becoming contagious. I was overjoyed for the last week, but when people are nervous for me, it gets me worried. I woke up at 3:45 am and started worrying that my symptoms weren't bad enough. I still have to wait another week for my next appointment and maybe something bad happened. All I could think about it how horrible it would be if we had another disappointment.
Maybe watching the season finale of Giuliana & Bill wasn't a good idea either. I absolutely love that show and it's almost like watching my own life on tv. We talk about them constantly at our support group as we watch their journey of infertility while we deal with our own. To see them get a negative test after their second IVF was devastating and I can't help but cry with them. I was in that situation a week ago and I could be back there at any time. To see other people having to endure what I've gone through is so painful. No one deserves to want something this much and not be able to have it or to have it taken away from them suddenly.
It's on my mind all day and all night how quickly this miracle can get taken away from me.
Maybe watching the season finale of Giuliana & Bill wasn't a good idea either. I absolutely love that show and it's almost like watching my own life on tv. We talk about them constantly at our support group as we watch their journey of infertility while we deal with our own. To see them get a negative test after their second IVF was devastating and I can't help but cry with them. I was in that situation a week ago and I could be back there at any time. To see other people having to endure what I've gone through is so painful. No one deserves to want something this much and not be able to have it or to have it taken away from them suddenly.
It's on my mind all day and all night how quickly this miracle can get taken away from me.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Disappointment. Again.
I really, really thought this was it. I had all the symptoms and I felt "different." But I was deathly scared of doing the test. I didn't want to take it because there was a chance it would be negative and it would crush me. Friday night I had dreams about pregnancy tests all night. I woke up at 5 am and had to run to the bathroom to do the test. I danced around as I waited for "pregnant" to show up on the test. Hubby ran in when he saw the light on and covered my eyes.
He told me it was negative and I burst into tears right on the toilet. I hate even writing this because it's making me so sad again. I cried all morning as I thought about how much I HATE this process and how unfair it is. Why does this have to happen to good people like us? Why does my body hate me? Why can't I give my husband the one thing he wanted by the time he was 30? That's probably the worst feeling this week because I know how important this was to him. He's my "pillar" as he calls it and Kitty is the "pebble" who held me as I cried all morning long.
Thank God for my infertility support group just a couple hours later. They were the only ones that really understood and it felt so good to sit in a room with girls who can really sympathize. The sadness is nowhere near gone, but going there helped a lot. All weekend, I was depressed and I'm still thinking about it 3 days later. WHY ME?
He told me it was negative and I burst into tears right on the toilet. I hate even writing this because it's making me so sad again. I cried all morning as I thought about how much I HATE this process and how unfair it is. Why does this have to happen to good people like us? Why does my body hate me? Why can't I give my husband the one thing he wanted by the time he was 30? That's probably the worst feeling this week because I know how important this was to him. He's my "pillar" as he calls it and Kitty is the "pebble" who held me as I cried all morning long.
Thank God for my infertility support group just a couple hours later. They were the only ones that really understood and it felt so good to sit in a room with girls who can really sympathize. The sadness is nowhere near gone, but going there helped a lot. All weekend, I was depressed and I'm still thinking about it 3 days later. WHY ME?
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