One Week Old!

I can't believe our little guy is already a week old! (Don't cry, Lisa. I was dreading writing this post b/c I knew it would be way too emotional.)

As you lay sleeping next to my right thigh in the bed, I just tear up even looking at you. A week ago, my life changed forever. I had no idea what to expect and it's so hard to even put it all into words. There are so many little amazing moments that I just want to treasure forever. Yesterday spent hours crying because I already feel like it's going by so fast and I'm not getting to enjoy every single minute of it as much as I'd like.

Your Daddy and I are just in awe of every little thing you do:

-We sit and stare at you and your facial expressions that change every second. What are you thinking about?

-Your "O" face when your little mouth is open in a round shape and your eyes are wide open and looking at us

-The most soft head of hair I've ever felt and how it sticks up so cute after your bath (we didn't even expect you to have hair!)

-Your VERY dark blue gray eyes open more and more each day. We're in awe of how dark they are!

-Your mouth. So much to say about it and I have a feeling we'll be telling you stories about this when you're older. Everyone who sees you is amazed by your little mouth and how obsessed you are with it. From the minute you were born, you were sucking on your fingers, sleeves, top of your hand, and anything else you could get ahold of. The little sucking sound is the cutest thing ever! And Mommy thanks you for your very gifted latching ability even from your first feeding.

-Your little fingers and toes are mirror images of mine. Long skinny fingers and the exact same shape of nails as your Mommy are so amazing to look at.

I love watching Daddy play with you and hold you. He's such a wonderful father and he has the most perfect instincts for children. He's so big and it looks so cute for him to hold such a little baby in his hands. He already finds ways to play with you and get you excited.

Stats:
Born Tuesday August 23: 6 lbs, 10 oz.
Thursday August 25 when we left the hospital: 6 lbs, 1 oz.
Saturday August 27 when we ran to the doctor b/c you wouldn't stop spiting up: 6 lbs, 3 oz.
Monday August 29 at your 1 week doctor appointment: 6 lbs, 5 oz.

The pediatrician was so impressed with your weight gain since we left the hospital! She actually said she was surprised at how quickly you're getting back to your birth weight. Your circumcision is healing perfectly and now we're done with the vaseline and gauze pads on it. I'm so proud to say that you haven't spit up for the last 3 feedings - a new record! Your hematoma on your head is still healing, but the doctor says it should be a lot smaller in a few weeks.

Your mommy has her ups and downs, but overall, she's doing pretty good. I'm still having some pain and there's still a lot of healing to do, but it's gotten a lot better. I think I was pushing myself too much over the weekend and it made things worse. Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to move around better by the end of week. The lack of sleep wasn't so bad at first, but it's starting to catch up with me. Luckily, you're a pretty good sleeper (when you go right to sleep) so I'm trying to keep up with a normal amount of sleep every night. Emotionally, your mommy is a mess. I go through ups and downs each day. If I start getting emotional and crying at every little thing, it continues for hours. It's not even that I'm depressed, but I think I'm overwhelmed with emotion and can't hold it in. When your Daddy is around, I do a lot better.

All in all, a life-changing week for our family and it will be treasured forever. I love you!

Kitty - the babysitter

Love those fingers!

Daddy playing

Taking after Kitty and hiding the eyes

Finger sucking champion

First bath!

Right before you peed on your cute new towel!

Black & White Photos

Some of my favorite artsy photos we took in the hospital...

Connor's Newborn Photos

It was really important to me to have photos taken right away at the hospital so we would have something gorgeous to remember that important day in our lives.

Tummy to back!

According to Babycenter.com: "Your baby may be able to kick himself over, from his tummy to his back, as early as age 2 to 3 months."

Someone is already ahead of schedule! He flipped today at 5 days old!

Hubby did want him to come out playing basketball and this is a good start to being ahead of the game!

The milk is coming in

Wow! I never thought it would be like this! It started on Thursday (the day we left the hospital) and I could tell they were starting to get a little full. But Friday was scary! I noticed they felt a little bigger and harder throughout the morning. When I was finished nursing after lunch, I went into the bathroom to get dressed and glanced in the mirror with no shirt on.

OMG.

I look like I have MAJOR implants! They're rock hard and freaking huge!

There's no possible way I can nurse enough to empty those suckers out and feel better. We ended up taking our three-day old baby to the store to buy a pump. What a little shopper!

The pump scared me and I thought it would really hurt. I also thought it would be super confusing to use it. But once I set everything up, I was shocked at how easy it was! I pumped for just a few minutes on each side and got a pretty good amount of milk out. So much better!

I really wasn't planning on buying the pump for another few weeks, but since we've been having some issues with spitting up and him falling asleep while nursing, we figured we'd get one now in case we need it. I do feel a lot better having it and it's so much more simple to use than I thought. It will be really nice to be able to have some extra milk for Hubby to use if I'm sleeping or busy with something. I also love that he'll be able to participate in the feeding process a little more.

Now if I can only get these boobs to feel better...

Going home!

Thursday was our last day at the hospital. I couldn't believe it when the nurse walked in for our 2 am feeding and reminded me that we were going home that day!

I was starting to feel better and the doctors said my swelling went down a lot during the time I was there. I felt like we got into a pretty good routine with feeding, sleeping, and working with the nurses each day. What would happen when we get home and have to do everything on our own?

Luckily, we spent some time with our favorite nurse, Lisa, who went over a lot of tips for newborn care, feeding, diapering, and healing my body. We also met with the lactation consultant for the second day in a row to get more feedback on nursing. I was welcoming anyone who wanted to give us help or show us how to do things...the more information, the better! And it was really nice that Hubby was there to learn everything with me and take part in all the instruction.

The pediatrician stopped by at about 2:00 in the afternoon to do a final check on Connor. She looked at his chart and reminded us about feeding and said he looked good enough to go home. We've been so lucky with him that he was born completely healthy and without any major health problems. Such a lucky little guy!

Hubby and I packed our things up and I asked for extra of everything I could think of. The nurse told me they throw out any package that's been opened so we were free to take anything we wanted that was already started. Score! I also asked for more of those fabulous mesh panties and all the fun toilet stuff that I would need. Those plastic sheets they put down on the bed if you leak have been lifesavers! The nurse even taught us how to make ice diapers which are the best thing ever for someone with major swelling.

I almost teared up as we signed our discharge papers and she walked us downstairs and helped us into the car. We've been so lucky to have such caring and helpful people at the hospital to take great care of us and teach me so many things. It would never have been the same experience without them there. (I'm crying just writing this!) The doctors during the delivery were so proactive with telling me what was going on and making quick decisions about what to do. I'm so grateful for their help and making the experience such a memorable one.

In his going home outfit and getting anxious!

I'm done with the sappy emotional stuff now! So we all loaded into the car and I sat in the back with Connor. Of course, we got stuck in rush hour traffic so he had his first experience of living in Chicago. He slept pretty much the whole way home while I sat in pain from all the bumps on the road that were killing me.

Both sets of grandparents were waiting for us at home with dinner. I was a little too overwhelmed with everyone and feeling like I had so much to do. I think I overdid it a little because I was pretty sore and tired by the time everyone left. Once it was just me and the 3 boys, it was wonderful! We all got in bed (even Kitty) and snuggled! One big happy family!

Connor's Day 2

Amazement

His first night, I was exhausted, but the adrenaline and excitement was keeping me going. I tried to rest while he slept, but I was also in so much pain. My swelling got to be extremely painful and I had a hard time even laying in bed. Just getting out of bed to waddle to the bathroom was horrible and I needed 2 people to help me. I couldn't even look down as I sat on the toilet because it scared me too much. The first two times I got up, I was shaking and very nauseous so the nurses had to help me from falling over. Between the pain, the thought of what things looked like, and the exhaustion, it was too much for me to handle. But the nurses were great about pumping up the pain meds and giving me ice diapers every few hours.

Connor woke up 2 or 3 times during his first night and I was able to nurse until he went back to sleep. Amazingly, I was also able to get some sleep between feedings and woke up feeling energized.

In the morning, Hubby helped me take a shower and I was shocked that I was able to do it! While I got dressed, I started to be able to move around a little better, but I was still in a lot of pain. It felt awesome to be clean, dry my hair, put on some makeup, and get back to feeling more normal.

Daddy & Connor while Mommy got dressed

During the day, I nursed when he was hungry and loved just staring at his little face and watching his emotions change every few seconds. The more I stared, the more amazed I was. His extremely long & skinny fingers are JUST like mine! Even the nurses were shocked by how cold his toes were when the rest of his body was warm...just like his Mommy! And I started to notice that his nose and eyes looked very similar to mine as well. I never imagined having another person (besides my sister) that looked like me. It's just the most wonderful feeling!

Connor with his first gift after birth from Aunt Julie & his grandparents

Our nurses were absolutely amazing and came in to check on me all day and night. The ice diapers became my BFF along with Motrin & Norco meds. I was in so much pain at first and even the nurses commented on how awful it looked. I was too scared to look, but I could tell it was pretty bad just from having to move around and get help just to get out of bed and into the bathroom. Every dose of medicine helped a little more and I started to feel better.

Our celebration dinner

By the second night, reality was starting to set in and I realized I'm finally a mommy!

Introducing Connor Bradley!

It's been a few days since his birth and I finally got a few minutes to write everything down! Monday during the day I felt pretty normal and not much was going on. I had a hard time being at work because I was so tired, but I hardly had any contractions. I worked late to get some things finished up and then got a few contractions while driving home. Just for giggles, I started timing them, but I figured it was pointless. It was a waste of time, but I felt like doing it just to keep myself distracted. They were maybe 7-10 minutes apart, but not painful at all. I thought it was really strange that I started to get a migraine when I haven't had one in 6 months. I usually get hormonal migraines so I wondered if it meant labor was coming because of a hormone change...or maybe it was just stress from work b/c it was a crazy day.

Once I got home, the painless contractions (Braxton-Hicks) got slower and about 10-15 minutes apart. I kept recording, but didn't really think much of it. After dinner, Hubby spontaneously decided to make peanut butter cookies to munch on while we watched tv in bed.
The B-H stopped, but my migraine was raging so I went to bed. At around 10:30, I woke up to pee and noticed more mucus plug in the toilet. I went back to sleep and then saw even more around 11:30. I was having a hard time sleeping because I kept feeling something wet and had to keep getting up to check if it was mucus plug or my water breaking.

At 12:07, I had a really strong contraction and Hubby started to record their times while we laid in bed. They got painful really fast with tightening in my belly and feeling pain in my right thigh, butt, and hips. We recorded them at about 5 minutes apart while we hung out in bed for about an hour. We started questioning calling the doctor, but we decided to wait a little longer in case things slowed down like they did last Friday. I had a few minor contractions that made me question what was going on, but we figured we'd call the doctor. I talked to the doctor on call and she said to come in, but to try to walk around first to speed things up. I was pacing in the bedroom while Hubby took a shower and finished packing the necessities in our bag. Walking felt great and I started to wonder whether things were progressing enough to go. But since we were already ready to go, we figured we'd go anyway. On our way out the door, Kitty had a little explosion on the laundry room floor (with blood)...good timing, Kitty!

On the drive to the hospital, the contractions started to pick up and I had a hard time with the pain while driving on bumpy roads. As we drove, I started to realize this was really happening! I almost felt numb and didn't really know what emotions I was going through or how I felt about it. I wasn't scared yet, but I wasn't super excited either. I think I was still in shock and getting used to the reality of what was going on. When we got to the hospital at 3:30 am, the contractions got more and more painful. We ended up in a recovery room because all the labor & delivery rooms were full. Of course, on the tour, someone asked if that ever happened and the woman said, "Never!" The recovery room was just a bed with a curtain around it and very small, but luckily, we were the only ones in there. I was hoping someone would have a baby soon so we could get a real room and spread out.

The contractions started getting really strong when I got into bed and I started to cry from the pain. When my teeth started chattering and my legs were shaking uncontrollably, I got really freaked out. The pain was unbearable, but the shaking was so scary and it was using up all my energy. As much as I researched every aspect of pregnancy and labor, I never remembered reading that much about this, so it scared me! I only went pyscho on Hubby once and it was right then. I was getting frustrated that he wasn't comforting me enough, but we were fine a few minutes later. We waited for the doctor to come in and it took awhile because of all the patients that night. She asked some questions and then did an internal check and my water broke! The force of her doing the exam broke my water and I was 4 cm dilated! As soon as she said I was in active labor and my water was broken, I knew it was happening. She said, "You're leaving here with a baby!"
Contractions kept getting worse as time went on. They finally moved us to a real labor & delivery room where I got to rest in a more comfortable bed. I started to beg Hubby for the epidural ASAP when I remembered his friend telling me she had asked for one and then the hospital was too busy to give it to her and she never got it! After hearing that story, I was like, "Hell no, I am NOT going through what she did. I need it now!" While we waited for the epi, contractions got down to about 3 or 4 minutes apart and the shaking got even worse. I was getting nauseous and ended up throwing up my peanut butter cookies and dinner in the basin. (labor peanut butter cookies, perhaps?) Around 6:30-7 am, I got the epidural which was a lot less painful than I thought. People always talked about how it was the most horrible pain during the injection, but it was SO much less pain than the contractions.

Once the epi started to go through my body, it felt amazing! The tingly feeling started in my toes and moved its way up my legs, butt and hips. I was so happy to have some time to relax my body and catch my breath. The only downside was that I had a very itchy reaction to the meds. My whole body itched horribly and I got red scratches ALL over (even hours after it wore off). While we waited for things to progress, my mom came and we all rested in the room in the dark for a couple hours. I was way too crazy and my mind was racing so I couldn't sleep. At a little before 11:00, my doctor came in and said I'd probably start trying to push soon! My mom left so we could have a few minutes alone before our lives changed forever!

I didn't really know what to expect or how it would go so she explained everything ahead of time about what I would need to do. I loved that she went through everything so I would know what to expect and how to do it. By that time, the epidural completely took over and I couldn't feel a thing. At about 11:00, the nurse and the doctor got my bed set up and set up the stirrups for my feet. On my first try, I had no idea if I was even pushing because I felt nothing down there. I kept asking if I was actually doing anything and they said I was!

During the first few contractions, the doctor was watching the baby's heart rate that stayed around 120. But it started to go down to 80-90 and I started seeing her whisper to the nurse a little. There were a few nurses and doctors that would come in and out of the room and I lost track of who everyone was. But then all of a sudden, the doctor said the baby's heart rate was getting too low and they called in the neo-natal group to hurry in. There were people everywhere and I felt like the room was going to explode. Everyone was talking, running around, and medical terms were being thrown around the room. I was given an oxygen mask and was told to wear it to help give the baby more oxygen.

My doctor explained what was going on with the heart rate and gave us the possible scenarios of what would happen next. They would try to use the vacuum or forceps to try to get him out faster and into the neo-natal care unit or even consider a c-section. She asked what we would prefer and I decided to try to keep going and avoid the c-section if possible. As the neo-natal team got their things ready in the corner, I kept having contractions and pushing. She used the vaccuum once, but it ended up slipping off his head with a loud popping sound. Finally, his rate started to go up and the team left. That was the best feeling! I was so happy that he was going to be fine and we could continue to deliver "normally." They had to keep watching his heart rate while I pushed and it would go down and get a little scary, but it always went back up. The one thing that shocked me was that the pushing didn't hurt as much as I thought!

Once he started to get farther out, it DID start hurting more. Hubby sneaked a peek down there and said he could see the head and that really got me excited to finish up. The doctor and nurses were wonderful with encouraging me to keep pushing and doing my best. When they said I was really close (and I could feel the pressure of him coming out) I was begging to push even while we waited for the next contraction. I knew how close we were and I was dying to see him! When he finally came out, he wimpered a little but not a big cry like you always see on tv. I really thought I would be crying, but I think it still felt so surreal that I didn't know how to react!

One of the nurses took him to the side to get him cleaned off and Hubby took some photos. I rested in bed while the doctor delivered the placenta and stitched me up. I had a second degree tear and some swelling, but I couldn't feel a thing! Connor got weighed (6 lbs, 10 oz.) and he had his footprints done. They brought him right over to me to hold on my chest and it was such an amazing thing. I think I was still numb from all the emotions and action but it was just so cool to look at him and realize that we made him ourselves!



Our little smarty was already opening his mouth to nurse and he latched right on! I don't know if he actually got any colostrum, but he had an awesome latch and seemed very content. The nurses kept saying how great that was and I was pretty shocked that it was so easy! When we finished, Connor's little fan club came in to see him (both sets of grandparents & Aunt Julie). They all took turns holding him while I rested and took some photos.

Connor with his eye medication

Grandma

Grandma

Aunt Julie

Grandpa

Grandpa

Finally, it all started to hit me and I realized how tired I was. We'd been awake for almost 48 hours and my eyes were closing. All the people in and out were starting to be too much for me to handle. Our wonderful labor & delivery nurse Sandra moved us upstairs and took Connor to the nursery.

I finally got to get some rest in the recovery room while Hubby went to get food and Connor got his first bath and his medical exam.


It took some begging, but we finally found out his length (19.75 inches) and I took a few minutes to send some emails and update everyone on Facebook. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and I kicked everyone out of the room so we could rest. The silence and peaceful feeling was glorious and I took some time to reflect on the day that changed my life forever.