As breastfeeding is winding down, I get sad when I think about the fact that he won't ever do this again. He's growing up so fast and quickly turning into a little boy. I was inspired by
this post to write my own little list of what I will miss about it.
1. The special quiet time we shared will be missed. Connor's quite the little boy and always on the move. This was really the only time we had together where we could really snuggle, be close, and just spending a special moment together. I did quickly learn to use my laptop on my nightstand while I nursed him, but we still spent many hours together bonding.
2. I love looking down at his eyes that were softly closed and his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks. He usually had his eyes closed while he nursed to just rest and do his thing.
3. This is gross, but it was so easy to clean his ears when he was focused on getting his milk. Especially when his ear infections were bad, he was never a fan of letting me clean the gunk out of his ears. The best time for me to do it was when he was occupied while nursing and he didn't mind it at all.
[pause to cry...this is hard for me to write!]
4. I'll miss him saying "milk" and bouncing at the side of the bed with his hands on the top of the mattress while he tries to climb up to our special spot.
5. The boppy pillow represents the many hours we spent together nursing. We used it from day one and never used anything else. He knows what that pillow means and I'll miss his eyes lighting up when he sees me pull it out from the special spot between the side of the bed and the nightstand.
6. It was hard not to laugh every time he would pull at the bottom of my shirt when we would play after dinner and before bedtime. He knew just what was under my shirt and demanded it.
7. I will miss this learning experience and special time that we grew and learned together. Both of us started out as newbies with no clue how to do it and we figured it out quickly. We adapted as time when on and we made it work for 19 months.
8. I'm proud of the fact that we made it this long and I think it's kind of funny to see someone's reaction when I tell them I am still nursing even though he's [fill in the blank] months. I'll miss that shock because it was something I was very proud of. Part of me wishes we could keep going forever.
9.Not that this has happened recently, but I miss the times that he would fall asleep in my arms while nursing. That milk coma was just too much for him to handle and he would pass out in the middle. Plus, it was a bonus for us parents because we would just tiptoe down to his room and put him into bed with no fuss at all.
10. Most of all, like
Allison said, I'll miss the baby I used to have. That tiny little innocent newborn is now a growing toddler. I don't know if I'll ever be able to experience this feeling again, but I loved it so much.
[cue the tears]
