Taking Care of a Baby

What little girl doesn't want to learn how to be a mommy? Why not start now?  Although she thinks the baby bottle is for her, I taught her how to feed the baby with the bottle.

And then she took a turn...

We put together Caylee's doll stroller so she could practice walking with it, but Connor makes a good daddy too!

I also taught Caylee how to rock her baby and she's getting better at it!

Connor's First Daycare Show

Connor had his first performance at daycare on Friday evening.  His class sang and danced to 2 songs that they've been practicing for weeks.  We thought he might get too nervous right before it started, but he lined up with all the other kids and did awesome!  He knew the dance better than any of his friends and he impressed us so much! 

After the performance, everyone played outside and had some caterpillar-themed snacks to go with the Very Hungry Caterpillar performance that the older preschoolers did.

Connor and his fellow baseball player friends

Will this fit in my mouth?

Giggles while waiting for Connor

Precious Siblings

Heart melted.

It's taken 4 months for him to ask to hold her, but he finally did it this week!  I think he knew it was momentous because he posed for so many photos!  Then he said, "Take her back.  She's too little."

New Monitor

I would have liked to not have to buy a second monitor, but we really still need one for Connor with him starting to not nap as much and Caylee will need one soon when she's sleeping in her room.  We got a new monitor set up over the weekend and I love it!  The picture is so clear that we can see what book Connor is reading and I love that we can move the camera so we can see where he is in his room.  It's so easy to check on him from my phone, computer or the ipad, so it makes access a lot for available too. 

And we try again...

So we had a little shocked over the weekend...

It's been almost two months since my miscarriage, so I really didn't expect this so soon.  It was in the back of my mind for the last week or so when I would get a few minutes of nausea and then it would go away.  On Sunday, I felt sick and ran upstairs.  By the time I got to the bathroom, it was too late, but I had to sit down for a few minutes to feel better.  After that, I knew it was time to take the test.

I took it during chaos in the bathroom as Connor ran around asking me to put cds in his Elmo cd player and Daddy was running around the house.  Connor was super crabby, so Daddy tried to calm him down by sitting him on the floor and asking him if he had fun with cousin Grady.  I said I needed to ask him a question next, so I said, "Connor, do you want a baby brother or sister?"

This is was his face as he turned around...and then he burst into tears!

I know he didn't understand and he was still feeling very sad about watching cousin Grady leave that morning.  So anyway, here we go again...

I'm very nervous about this and I'm constantly worrying if this will end sadly again.  I'm trying not to let it mess with me too much, but it's hard to get those thoughts out of your mind when you've already lost 2.  I also have those worries like,  "WTF are we getting in to!?!" Connor has been a little extra crabby recently with his teething, so it hasn't been the best timing to think about taking care of another kid.  I know we'll make it work and I really hope this is finally it.

Bradley University offspring

I was reading the newest issue of the Bradley University alumni newsletter when I found this...

I think I know who they're referring to!  MY KID! 

I'm pretty sure I posted about this back when it happened, but I can't find the original blog post.  In the winter issue, they featured Connor wearing his Bradley t-shirt with a little blurb about how we picked his middle name to honor the college we met at.  This note from another alum was so sweet to see!  We actually found out that another boy in Connor's daycare class also has the middle name Bradley after the school where his parents met.  I guess it's more common than we thought!  But it's also great to see how many people really loved going to that school and how it remained such a wonderful memory even after they graduated.

Ummm, what?

Saturday was quite a big day for our little family.  Here's how it all went down...

I was supposed to get AF this week and I had predicted it for Wednesday based on previous cycles.  I was ready to go and kept expecting it all day on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  By Friday night, I started to over-analyze and wonder what was going on.  I kept re-checking my calendar from the previous months and counting how many days each cycle was to figure out why it was so late.  But of course, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was another reason I hadn't gotten it yet.

Friday after work, I ran home and nervously took a dollar store pregnancy test.  It was negative and I got a little upset, but I figured AF would show overnight.  On Saturday morning, I woke up early and laid in bed thinking.  Those stupid dollar store tests are crappy and I remembered that I got false negative both times I used them in the past.  The thoughts cycled in my mind all morning.  After lunch, Connor took a nap and I had some privacy to take a real pregnancy test I found in the back of the closet.  I slowly watched it as the first line appeared and then the second one came in very, very lightly.  Holy crap.  But is it really a line?  I looked through the instructions and it said it didn't matter how dark the line was.  But the more I stared at the line, the more I felt like it was slowly disappearing and I wasn't sure if it was even really a line. 

I thought about it for another hour or so while I did some cleaning.  I told the husband was going to Target for some soap, but I ended up picking up a digital test while I was there.  Then I would really know for sure!  I got home and did my thing...those 3 minutes were so, so long! I was walking in circles in the bathroom while I watched that little hourglass image blink.  Finally, a word popped up.

OMG.

I started freaking out.

Scared, excited, confused...so many emotions all at once!

When Connor woke up from his nap, I took him out shopping for a bit and I kinda kept my eye out for a Big Brother shirt.  I feel like I see them all the time, but of course, when you need one, you can't find one anywhere.  Also, I slowly found out that most only come in bigger sizes starting at 3T.  Anyway, we got home and I told Connor to go give Daddy a little gift we got him.  I wrapped up the positive test and put it in a gift bag for Connor to give to him.  They both sat down on the couch and he slowly opened the bag.  His first words were, "Are you serious?" and Connor grabbed the test thinking it was a pen.

He was in shock!  We asked Connor if he wanted a brother or a sister and he repeated both.  Nope, you only get one!

So anyway, now that this has set in a little, I'm freaked out.  I'm scared too.  

How did we get lucky enough to have this happen naturally after everything we went through in the past?  Connor was such a good baby and we were really blessed, but what if this baby is the opposite?  How will we get through it?  How will we pay for 2 kids in daycare?  How will we get everything done in time?  Oh my gosh, I need to start reorganizing the entire house to make enough room.  How will Connor deal with this? 

My mind is racing with questions and worries right now.  I want to get to the doctor to make sure everything is ok, so I'm hoping I can get in soon.  I also don't have any symptoms besides no appetite and peeing a little more often, so I want to confirm it.  So crazy! 

7 Weeks & a New Kitty

Yes, they do! Being a mommy to you is a lot more work than I thought and it's a 24/7 job. You're becoming quite a Mommy's boy now that you're a little older. You look at me all the time and tend to be calmed down the most when I hold you. It's so strange to be relied on by someone like that and I like it. I'm pretty much with you every second of the day and I've grown very attached to you!

Every morning after your 9:00 feeding, we play a game I call Faces where you make all kinds of cute little expressions and I make them back at you. I think it's your happiest time of the day!

This week, Daddy went out of town for one night, so it was my first time all alone with you overnight. Grandma & Grandpa came over for dinner and to help with your cranky time on the first night. I don't know how this happened, but Grandma managed to get you to fall asleep on your changing pad while she rubbed your back!

After your cranky time, we had a pretty good night of sleep. But by the next afternoon, I started to get pretty tired and you weren't very happy. Here's a silly photo of you after multiple spit-ups and I was ready for Daddy to come home!

On Thursday, I started to notice that you were able to see some of your toys and things around the room. Time to put together your play mat!

So far, you love it! The lights, music, and moving animals keep you very entertained.

Saturday, I decided to do a mini photo shoot for Aunt Julie with the Iowa gear she gave you. I got you dressed up and sent her a few photos before the game.

That night, we went to Aunt Julie's engagement party and met a lot of soon-to-be Uncle Sam's family. As usual, you were the center of attention!

I hate how I look here, but our profiles look really cool as we look at each other.

Sunday, we went to Aunt Julie's house to meet her new kitty, Pilot. Pilot is still a little sick after being adopted, so you couldn't get too close. He's very cute and you'll get to spend more time with him soon!