My emotional state

It's a very strange feeling to admit that I am happy. Yesterday at the doctor, they had me take a survey about depression and anxiety to look for signs of post-partum depression and I was shocked when I started to answer it. I've taken these surveys before and I've never been able to answer them the same way. I can't remember the last time I could say I was NOT anxious and not depressed about anything. The past 11 years I've struggled on and off with these emotional issues and I didn't know what it was like to live without them. I honestly never, ever thought I would feel "normal" again. Whether it's the pregnancy or something else, it's the most amazing feeling when I sit down and think about this. Most women seem to get more emotional during pregnancy and cry at the smallest thing. I think I've cried one time and that was at my first ultrasound at 6 weeks when I got nervous to see if the baby was actually there. Hubby doesn't even know what to do with himself now that I don't cry 3 times a week over something stupid!

I was just telling my boss today how strange it is not to take criticism personally at work now. A year ago, I was crying every day when I left work from people complaining and the stress I had. Now, I just kinda laugh it off and think it's funny when people complain about things I can't control.

I'm still shocked by this huge change. I wonder if everything will change once the baby is born. I know I'm more prone to having post-patrum because of my past, but maybe this is a sign of positive things to come.