I'm an emotional mess today

I go back to work tomorrow.

I'm going to miss spending every waking minute with this little face.


It didn't really hit me until today as I sit here in the dark with her sleeping next to me.

This week, I tried to make it a little extra special by taking more photos...

And capturing every little detail...

But it still just doesn't seem like enough to make me feel good about going back...

Yeah, I miss seeing my coworkers and hearing the gossip, but I'm gonna miss the snuggles and this face more.

I know I have to do it...it's just so, so hard to get through the days leading up to it.  Once I'm back, it will be routine and I won't know any different.  I have to remind myself that I never look back and wish I would have done it differently with Connor.  I'm giving them the life I want them to have by working.  They're going to grow up and understand that we decided this to give them the best childhood and best education. 

As I'm typing this, I'm crying.  She's growing up so fast.  She was a newborn just yesterday and now she just looks so big sitting next to me.  She's just about ready to find her right hand, she loves to sit up and look around, and she looks more like a baby than a scrunched up newborn.  It's everything I ever wanted, but it just happens so fast.  I love her more than anything and I feel like my family is complete.

She's about ready to breastfeed and I'm running out of tears, so I'm going to stop now.  Love you, Miss Caylee, my baby girl.

Winter Fest with Santa

On Saturday, I was very excited to take Connor to Winter Fest at a local park district.  We went last year and it had a lot of fun activities for kids.  I also love that you can visit Santa, but you don't have to wait in a huge line.  We arrived right when it opened so we could visit Santa right away! 

When we walked in the room, I could tell Connor started to get nervous.  He tried to hide behind me while I showed him that the other kids loved Santa and got to sit on his lap.  When it was our turn, he started to cry.  He wouldn't go near Santa unless I did too, so we got a photo together.  Hilarious!

Here's last year and he's just as upset!


To calm down, we went to the next room where we decorated snowman cookies!  Connor put icing and m&ms on his cookie.

Then we ate our cookie!

We went into the gym and did some of the little holiday activities.

Connor's favorite part was the bounce house!  Once I got him in there, he loved it!

Slide!

And again...

And again...

Hold him close

A mom from my August 2011 board lost her baby yesterday. There are no words to explain how absolutely horrible and devastated I am with this news. I can't stop thinking about how awful it would be to get that news and how it will affect her life forever. I'm sick even thinking about the pain she's going through. I can't help but think about my little one and how he's doing every minute of the day now. I don't know how to move forward with these painful thoughts in my head.

Treasure every single moment you have with your baby.

The 3 Month Growth Spurt

I thought we kinda skipped this one...

until now...

Mr. Crankypants has come back in full force! I thought he was a little cranky on Sunday, but I didn't think too much of it. Yesterday at daycare they ended up feeding him his 4th bottle that he doesn't usually need. Then I remembered he did seem hungry more often on Sunday too. Today, daycare had to give him his 4th bottle extremely early because he was uncontrollable and crabby all day.

Poor guy.

These are the days I kinda wish I could stay at home to comfort him, but maybe I should be glad I can't.

Week 6 and the growth spurt

The week started out great! It was absolutely beautiful outside and felt like summer as the leaves started to fall. We took a trip to the Starbucks in Dominicks for my first pumpkin spice frappuccino of the year. Yum! The woman making the drink fell in love with you!

On Wednesday, we had a lunch date at Olive Garden with Andrea & Mason. You both slept through the whole thing! When we got home from lunch, everything changed. You went crazy! All of a sudden, my precious little calm baby was more cranky than I've ever seen. You were screaming and crying for hours and I couldn't do anything to make it better. Thursday was exactly the same and I was starting to wonder what happened to your cute little personality! As Friday began, I started to do some research on growth spurts and realized you had all the symptoms. You were eating a little more than normal, extra fussy, and then Friday you had some really long naps including during our trip to Einstein's with Grandpa.
Luckily, by Saturday, you were back to normal and Mommy was happy again!

Saturday night was your first Yom Kippur and we went to Grandma & Grandpa's house to break the fast. As usual, everyone begged to hold you! Here's Aunt Julie & you...

Grandma playing with you
Great-Grandpa singing you a lullaby

As week 6 comes to a close, I'm proud to say that we survived your first growth spurt. We came out of it with a few big things:
• I learned some new ways to calm you down and help you if your tummy hurts
• If you're cranky, all we have to do is put you in your car seat and take you out and you'll fall asleep
• All of a sudden, your sleeves on your clothes are getting too short! I can't believe you're growing out of your newborn clothes already!