Accepting reality

I put a lot of pressure on myself to continue to breastfeed as long as I can. I've had some really great role models (friends) who have done it and it really inspired me to keep going. Before Connor was born, I figured I'd try it and see how it went. But I've been very lucky that Connor has never had a problem with nursing at all, so I just kept going with it. Going back to work made things more difficult, but I've been able to keep up with pumping for the most part.

But for the last month or so, it's getting harder. I've been sick 3 times in less than two months and it made my supply go down. I've been stressed and busy at work which cut down on my milk and I've had to skip a few pumping sessions. I gave up pumping on most nights because I was so tired and couldn't stay awake long enough. It's getting hard for me to pump enough milk at work and we've had to dive into my freezer stash.

The three times a day I have to pump at work gives me a lot of time to think. I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep this going. If I don't pump the ideal 21 oz. per day, I get mad at myself. I'm constantly worried about not having enough and being forced to supplement with formula. I guess I really need to focus on the fact that this is not the worst thing in the world. I'm trying my best and that should be enough. I just wish I could remember that.