First Time in the Bumbo

Portrait of Mama

By Connor

I'm an emotional mess today

I go back to work tomorrow.

I'm going to miss spending every waking minute with this little face.


It didn't really hit me until today as I sit here in the dark with her sleeping next to me.

This week, I tried to make it a little extra special by taking more photos...

And capturing every little detail...

But it still just doesn't seem like enough to make me feel good about going back...

Yeah, I miss seeing my coworkers and hearing the gossip, but I'm gonna miss the snuggles and this face more.

I know I have to do it...it's just so, so hard to get through the days leading up to it.  Once I'm back, it will be routine and I won't know any different.  I have to remind myself that I never look back and wish I would have done it differently with Connor.  I'm giving them the life I want them to have by working.  They're going to grow up and understand that we decided this to give them the best childhood and best education. 

As I'm typing this, I'm crying.  She's growing up so fast.  She was a newborn just yesterday and now she just looks so big sitting next to me.  She's just about ready to find her right hand, she loves to sit up and look around, and she looks more like a baby than a scrunched up newborn.  It's everything I ever wanted, but it just happens so fast.  I love her more than anything and I feel like my family is complete.

She's about ready to breastfeed and I'm running out of tears, so I'm going to stop now.  Love you, Miss Caylee, my baby girl.