Every once in awhile, I reflect on my emotional state and I think it's time to really think about it. What better time than my 30th birhtday? After many years of struggles with depression and anxiety, I feel better than I ever have. I know I have Connor to thank for this.
The road to becoming pregnant was very hard on me, but being pregnant really turned things around. I was feeling a lot better and a lot of my anxiety disappeared. But I was really, really worried about post-partum depression. When I was pregnant, I tried to prepare myself as best I could to be ready for it and watch for the signs. I talked to my doctor about it and I was ready to take the next step if I needed to. Of course, the first week of Connor's life I was a total mess. I thought I was going downhill pretty quickly. But it was more of just getting used to having a newborn, being a mom, and learning how to cope with things. Quickly, I got used to my new life with a baby and I was HAPPY.
Going back to work was a little emotional for me, but again, I made it through that tough time and stayed happy. It's been over 7.5 months since Connor was born and I haven't had any feelings of depression. This is what life if supposed to be like! It's truly an amazing feeling to be normal again and just be happy with my life as it is. I used to be such a negative person and that has completely changed. Nothing else is so bad that it takes away from that big smile I see every morning and every night.
I'm sure I will have my ups and downs throughout my life as I've had for the past 15 years, but it's so nice to know that I don't have to worry about this right now. Life is so much better when you can enjoy it instead of worrying or being sad all the time. If someone would have told me this before I had Connor, I don't think I would have believed them. He really did change my life in so many amazing ways!
I'm glad you little guy makes you feel so good, they truly are amazing gifts!
ReplyDeleteI was going through depression after my brother died (8 years ago). Then I got pregnant with my daughter. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me! Babies really are amazing and change your life for the better! I never really worried about post partum depresion and was lucky not to get it either times. But I do think I suffered some sort of depression the first few weeks back at work. I cried everyday for weeks. It was tough at first but we are doing amazing and loving our situation now. I read an article recently about mothers suffering from depression after weaning their babies. I don't know if you are still breastfeeding (if you did) but that is something to look out for that I never thought about. I forumla fed my daughter and so breastfeeding was all new to me this time around... I had no idea I would enjoy it so much. It is... special and amazing and after reading that article I will be sure to look out for depression when time for weaning comes. I could totally see me going through a hard time with that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... very long comment! Happy 30th! I am happy for you that Connor has enriched your life so much!