I really, really hate that I can't share this amazing news with anyone. There have been so many times when I've wanted to blurt it out to a friend, a coworker, a relative, and even a complete stranger!
I keep catching myself in lies and I'm never ready with a good response. Like "How was your 5k?" "Um...I got my BFP two days before and decided I shouldn't run?" But I had to think quickly and say my ovaries were still enlarged from my hormones and meds.
I was out shopping with friends and it took everything I had not to buy something really cute and cheap in my size. They kept asking why I wasn't buying anything while they went on a shopping spree. "Um...because I'm not going to fit into a size zero much longer?" I had to say we were trying to save for fertility treatments and they were really expensive.
My mom asked why I sounded so happy on the phone the other day. "Um...because I have a baby growing in me?" But no, I said I wasn't feeling as stressed this week and work was slow.
At work I've been making a LOT of mistakes and forgetting things people told me. I've had to call people and ask them what they said to me 5 minutes beforehand. I think people were starting to give me strange looks and wonder where my brain went. "Um...I have pregnancy brain?" I just tried to play it off like I was an idiot and felt stupid for forgetting.
So anyway, I'm feeling really guilty about having to lie to everyone right now. I feel like I'm going to get caught in my lies one of these days! Can't WAIT to tell everyone!
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