21 Week Update

Baby's the size of a a banana!
Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

Well, 21 weeks was a big week for me because it was also my 29th birthday week! It's been a long, crazy week of stress at work and lots to do, but I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. My birthday was on a Thursday so I took Friday off of work. Hope Baby enjoyed the pre-natal massage and mani/pedi I got! The massage was a little different from a normal massage because you lay on your side and back instead of stomach. It felt great! I could have one every day!

It was also a week of lots of food for celebrations. I've been having trouble with my appetite lately and not really being very hungry. Going out helped because I was able to find things that sounded a little better. Thurs - Panera for lunch & Dairy Queen for dinner (yes, dinner), Fri - Cooper's Hawk for dinner, Sat - Wildfire for dinner, and Sun - Walker Bros for brunch. The eggrolls and potatoes at Cooper's Hawk never tasted so good!

Here's me after my huge meal at Cooper's Hawk. My stomach is a little bigger than normal from the food, so it's not really this big!
I'm very excited about my new spring maternity coat from my parents! I tried on every coat in the house and my fleece is the only one that fits. I'm so glad to have something else to wear that's a little nicer and more trendy. I love it!
I'm starting to feel the baby move around more often now. I'm pretty sure it can't all be gas so those little flutters must be him moving around. He moves a lot when I'm laying in bed resting. Hubby still hasn't really been able to feel it, but I keep trying to get him to hold his hand on my lower stomach and maybe he'll catch it. The more I feel it, the more real it seems. Wow!

Dear Non-Pregnant Person...

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me — then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father — not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren't invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won't be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent's home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,

All the Pregnant Women in the World

My 29th Birthday

Turning 29 might have been a little harder, but having the baby is making it much easier. If I was still doing the fertility treatments, I think I would have been kinda depressed and sad. But this birthday is probably one of the happiest I've had in awhile!

When I think back to my 28th birthday last year, it was a very hard time. I was getting very overwhelmed with treatments and stress at work and was breaking down just about every day. That week, I remember having panic attacks and crying for hours with all the built-up stress and emotions. On my actual birthday, Hubby did an amazing job of surprising me and cheering me up with a giant cupcake and my first ever Jewish Easter egg hunt that he designed for me. I cried from happiness and sadness mixed together. It was a beautiful day so I went for a run at the lake and then went over to my parents' house. Of all the days to confess this, I picked my birthday to tell them the news about the fertility treatments and, of course, cried again. They were very supportive and I felt a lot better after sharing the details with them.

That week was when I decided that I had enough. I decided to go back to the psychiatrist for some much-needed meds and I had to make a change in my life. The meds started helping and I found the awesome fertility support group that helped me get through the hard & sad times in the months ahead. So a year later, it's amazing to see the change! I'm happier than I've been in probably 10 years. I've cried one time since December and I think that's a new record for me!

To my banana-sized baby growing inside me: thank you for bringing me more happiness than I can ever remember. My 29th year is going to be wonderful!