Here we go again...
Tomorrow is my IUI for cycle #6. The whole cycle has been a little off from my previous ones. My follicles took a lot longer than normal to enlarge so the cycle has been longer and I had 12 days of injections before the HCG trigger shot. I was told as long as things were progressing, I should be fine and didn't have to worry about having a canceled cycle. But it's a little strange and I can't help but wonder whether this is a waste.
I'm going into it with somewhat positive thoughts tomorrow. I'm sick of getting excited and then let down, but there's always that little glimmer of hope that maybe this is IT.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sharing with Others
Over the weekend, I went to my first infertility support group. I was a little nervous since I've never done anything like this, but I figured I'd give it a try. It turned out to be a really great thing and I enjoyed it a lot.
There were 5 other girls there and we all shared our stories about where we are in the process and how we're coping. We talked about different issues that have come up like how to deal with other people asking you questions, talking about baby-related things, struggling with paying for treatment, how to think positively, etc.
It was so nice to not feel so alone in all this. While I'm not really alone, there are times when I feel like no one really understand what it's like to go through this. The time, money, energy and psychological issues are very hard to deal with and so it was nice to see how other girls cope. We all ended up staying way past the session and just chatted about other things and gave each other advice that we've learned in this process. I hope to go back to another session sometime soon.
There were 5 other girls there and we all shared our stories about where we are in the process and how we're coping. We talked about different issues that have come up like how to deal with other people asking you questions, talking about baby-related things, struggling with paying for treatment, how to think positively, etc.
It was so nice to not feel so alone in all this. While I'm not really alone, there are times when I feel like no one really understand what it's like to go through this. The time, money, energy and psychological issues are very hard to deal with and so it was nice to see how other girls cope. We all ended up staying way past the session and just chatted about other things and gave each other advice that we've learned in this process. I hope to go back to another session sometime soon.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Big Fat Negative
Round 5 was negative.
The wait until the test today was very hard. There were days when I was completely convinced I was pregnant again. I had a lot of symptoms and kept comparing them to last time. Then I'd get pissed at myself for being excited and then having to get my hopes up. Last night I couldn't sleep as I got super excited to pee on a stick in the morning. I woke up to horrible cramps and tried to convince myself it was implantation. Nope...big fat negative.
Hubby was cheery as usual and tried to look on the bright side by saying we already have a "baby" to deal with (Kitty) but it's still sad. I can't help but be terribly depressed today and hold back the tears. Just when I thought I was starting to feel better...now back where I started. Part of me just wants to roll up into a ball and cry all day in bed.
The wait until the test today was very hard. There were days when I was completely convinced I was pregnant again. I had a lot of symptoms and kept comparing them to last time. Then I'd get pissed at myself for being excited and then having to get my hopes up. Last night I couldn't sleep as I got super excited to pee on a stick in the morning. I woke up to horrible cramps and tried to convince myself it was implantation. Nope...big fat negative.
Hubby was cheery as usual and tried to look on the bright side by saying we already have a "baby" to deal with (Kitty) but it's still sad. I can't help but be terribly depressed today and hold back the tears. Just when I thought I was starting to feel better...now back where I started. Part of me just wants to roll up into a ball and cry all day in bed.
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