Total surprise

No, not that kind of surprise.

The kind where you're supposed to POAS on Sunday like the doctor said but then you wake up on Friday in horrible pain. Like crying in pain because it hurts so bad and you're wondering if you're dying. Turns out it was cramps, but they were not in the normal place I usually get them. So AF came super early and I didn't even get to POAS. I had a little hope for this cycle and even though I wasn't feeling a lot of symptoms, I thought there was a still a small chance.

The shock on Friday kinda ruined my fun day off of work I had planned. I couldn't help but notice all the moms pushing their strollers around the mall and all the kids running around the food court. I swear there's more kids than ever around me or I notice it way more than I used to.

I went to my infertility support group yesterday and it was really good for me. We have something in common that not a lot of other girls can relate to so it's nice to see how others are coping. We talk a lot about how to deal with other people's comments, being put in awkward situations with other moms, and how to deal with the emotions and stress that takes a toll on us. I felt better after I got back and I'm ready for cycle #7 next week.

Not feeling it this time...

This cycle was different. It was a longer wait until ovulation and I'm not feeling like I normally do after the IUI. I still have another week before POAS, but I'm pretty sure it's negative. I usually have pregnancy symptoms right up until the next AF and my hormones are all over the place. This time is different and I feel completely normal.

Also, the doctor always puts me on more hormone meds for the 2-week wait, but this time he didn't. So I'm very confused and questioning what went wrong this time. I guess I'm just going to assume this cycle sucked because I don't know what else to think.

Cycle #6

Here we go again...

Tomorrow is my IUI for cycle #6. The whole cycle has been a little off from my previous ones. My follicles took a lot longer than normal to enlarge so the cycle has been longer and I had 12 days of injections before the HCG trigger shot. I was told as long as things were progressing, I should be fine and didn't have to worry about having a canceled cycle. But it's a little strange and I can't help but wonder whether this is a waste.

I'm going into it with somewhat positive thoughts tomorrow. I'm sick of getting excited and then let down, but there's always that little glimmer of hope that maybe this is IT.